THE SUDELEY SHOOT
As daybreak follows night time
and Winter follows Fall
For me of equal guarantee
That mid November call
It comes from far across the sea
In LA it takes root
and opens with “Hi Delman,
It’s about the Sudeley Shoot”
This date has been established
for nigh on half a year
The update on attendance
“Well there’s you so far, oh dear”
So he gets out the address book
and he goes from A to Z
and he gives the nod or vetos
That’s when I go off to bed
Well the next time that he calls me
His demeanour seems upbeat
As proudly he announces
“It’s now you, your wife and Pete”
In the meantime at the Castle
Just to throw Liz out of gear
The couple who’ve just started
pack their bags and disappear
Without dwelling on the build up
I’ll skip straight to Friday night
When sporadically we gather
which makes Brock a tad uptight
It’s always bloody Pete, who thinks
it’s cool to turn up late
Atleast the models on his arm
give food for much debate
There’s Morgan, Cash and Trinny
There’s Hurley, Pete and Dean
The guest list rarely deviates
That’s how it’s always been
A mixture of non drinkers
And those who go for broke
The Sudeley Shoot’s a Cocktail
Of weird and vibrant folk
We assemble after breakfast
To prepare our killing gear
Whilst Delman gives a dump report
“Good morning Brigadier”
Having dwelt upon digestion
Into Range Rovers we climb
that take us up the hill for sport
The scene is quite sublime
The birds are rarely troubled
Although much shooting’s had
Excuses gather thick and fast
The Pheasants ain’t ‘alf glad
At half time ladies gather
the talk becomes less brash
If Hurley’s here, the press appear
We all blame William Cash
The keeper blows the whistle
each hotshot lowers his gun
You’d think the sport was over
Your wrong it’s just begun
For now it’s time for judgement
At lunch post mortems fly
If that bird’s hit, I’m Jesus Christ
And Delman’s Lady Di
The games that follow dinner
impressive in their range
reflect our host’s behaviour
invariably they’re strange
In summary, the Sudeley Shoot
brings out the best in all
Life wouldn’t be the same
without that mid November call
©Henry Birtles